What does it take to prepare, enter, maintain, flow, and remain in a relationship? Are we really ready for that relationship when it comes along? How much thought do we put into this whole process. Are we running from the self, looking for a diversion outside our spirit? I know love has no words, but is it really love. Lots of people end up in relationships because of loneliness, addictions, and laziness. People settle because of their spiritual insecurities and run to avoid their own challenges. Relationships need time to figure out and to just jump into one is senseless. They are like earthquakes, they live within shaky ground. I’d rather be single then in pain. What happens in painful relationships is that the body and senses become addicted to the pain and causes an unhealthy stimulation. Being single and alone can look and feel more desirable once we understand our basic needs. It is best to take time in between relationships so that we give ourselves a time to forgive, heal and bring out what we’ve learned. Personally I have risen above all the politics of relationships, that it is not something that I want to step down back into. People sometimes cannot understand why I am single and happy. The happy throws them off. People do need people; there are many ways to connect with people and have wonderful friendship relationships and still get the fulfillment that you desire. The reason is, is that I think most people are not ready; they have not self actualized, they have not given attention to the spiritual self, to the growing and stagnant world we live in. For relationships to survive we must begin to look at the big picture; the worldly crisis. People cannot handle love today, because we are not self actualized and we really don’t know what love is. Start loving the people around you and you will know love. Love doesn’t just exist between two lovers or a parent and a child, it goes beyond those boundaries. The ego wants love but the karma wants healing. Healthy or unhealthy relationships are there to help us see the light and refine the karma. We must learn to forgive ourselves, to find ourselves. The movie “eat, pray, love” is a perfect example for starters. This movie portrayed a woman, starring Julia Roberts on a journey to find herself, her balance and purpose in life after ending a marriage of convenience and addiction. Most folk don’t have those awakenings and continue to repeat the patterns. She took a journey and conquered her fears. It goes on to show how chaos is a part of balance and without it we would never find our center and that experiencing love with anyone is possible if we are connected to a source greater than the self. Lots of relationships survive out of the addiction to fear and hate which brings on a lack of courage. This woman took the little courage she had, listened to that inner voice and embarked on a new life. Her marriage was a learning tool, a stepping stone. The goal is to “find the growth” and connect to it. For the world to heal and the planet to stay alive we need to have some awakening as a contribution to this crisis we are in. We need to start caring more and doing our part; and whatever that part may be, let it be. I sometimes get tired of living in a world where people are waiting for everyone to do for them, to hold their hands and carry them through.
When you think about it some people spend half a lifetime getting in and out of relationships just to get free. I know it is hard to be free and to truly understand this language of the heart. We are basically afraid of our own freedom. Life is too short to waste it on unhealthy relationships. Have that beautiful healthy relationship to life and watch your love grow. Here are some tips to conquer and prepare for that next relationship.
1. Be emotionally free from past relationships before going into a new one.
2. Know and understand what you need from the prospective relationship. Know that there will be adjustments.
3. The most important one is to “look at the relationship objectively”.
4. Interview your prospective partner before jumping in. Find out their background with prior relationships and their goals.
5. Communicate with the prospective partner and friends to help you see things that you may not be open to see.
6. Seek out counseling or a spiritual class to keep you free and balanced.
7. Remember we enter into a relationship rather than settle into a new cozy spot. It is a new beginning that needs attention, work, and devotion. If you’re willing to put the effort then you could be ready.
8. If you’re a lonely type seek out group therapy to fulfill and balance that out.
9. Keep in mind that when you’re in the relationship it is learning and growing process.
10. Ask your God to guide you because you will need it….
I think in this day and age it is best to start to take a new attitude when entering into a relationship. Maintain your freedom by staying detached from the soil of the human condition, but be emotionally involved and honest.