So he or she wants to explore other avenues within the solid relationship or marriage. This can be scary, challenging, vulnerable and can lead to a split or even lots of pain. So what do we do and how do we cope with our partner wanting to “seek out” other avenues of sexuality? Relationships do go through a variety of developmental changes. It is important to notice these changes and communicate openly about them. Keeping your senses open as to perceive what is really on your partners mind. It is best to find out where the change came from and why.

Opening up the conversation about sex and about your sex together. Being supportive to each other during this time. Staying connected to your feelings. If your partner seems cold and disconnected continue to be supportive. Since this can hurt you the best thing is to seek out solo therapy immediately to help you go through your partners change. If you are not being supported you can dash out and do something you could be sorry for later.

If the change is about seeking out other sex again be supportive in this and tell your partner that you want to be a part of it and explore as well. See how that goes over. If your partner is receptive to you being a part of their exploration then you know the emotions between you is still there. It’s when they want to have an affair without you knowing is when it is infidelity. Staying together as a team is best for your friendship of marriage. Remembering you are friends even if you are married. It is an ever changing world out there and change will happen.

Once you get to the point of understanding each others different needs then you can figure out and understand that you may not be able to meet all of their needs; and that some may have to be met outside the relationship. Best to make a list of your needs, be willing to make adjustments and compromise on the things you want from one another. Remember there are two of you so open your mind to see their point of view. Remember it is not cheating if you share and talk about it and are honest in letting each other know what you are doing. I know it can hurt but honesty is key. If you both can get to this vulnerableness of honesty then you can move through the change with ease and it can just be a temporary thing, something of exploration.