Love: Do Some People’s childhoods Set Them Up To Reject Love?

Love: Do Some People’s childhoods Set Them Up To Reject Love?

By: Oliver JR Cooper

While there are some people who are able to receive, there are others who are unable to do so. What this means is that although someone needs something, it is not possible for them to have it.

There are then going to be others who experience life differently, and it will be possible for them to receive. This doesn’t mean that some people have everything they want and others don’t; as it is not this black and white.

It is more a case of one person being open and connected to life, and the other person being closed and disconnected from life. Therefore, each person’s experience on this planet is going to be radically different.

Open

When one is open to life, they will have moments where they are able to have their needs met. And because they are able to have their needs met, it will make it easier for them to handle the moments where their needs are not met.

One is not going to feel as though they are on the sidelines watching other people enjoy life, and they are unlikely to have a victim mentality. It is also going to be easier for them to give to others, and this is due to the fact that they are not running on empty.

Balance

It will be normal for them to experience balance, and this may be how they have always experienced life. However, if one was unable to receive, they are going to be running on empty.

They may also have times in their life where they have what they need and this could then be followed up by a long period of time where they end up going without. It is then going to be a challenge for them to experience balance, and their life is not going to be very fulfilling.

Closed

One is going to be closed off from life and they are likely to feel as though they are on the sidelines looking in. It is going to be normal for them to feel as though they are running on empty, and to feel as though they are being overlooked.

They could end up feeling frustrated and powerless, and they could believe that they are victims. If someone was to look at how each person experiences life, they might come to the conclusion that one person is lucky and the other is unlucky.

Reasons

It could be said that one person has something that other person doesn’t or that one person is more intelligent than the other. Another thing they could say is that one person has a belief system that is empowering and the other person doesn’t.

Either way, it is clear that something is different, and while it would be easy to focus on what is taking place externally, it would be a mistake to ignore what is taking place internally. Through looking at what is taking place internally, there is a strong chance of one finding out why each person is having a different experience.

Two Places

One approach would be to look at what is taking place in one’s mind, and to see what one believes and what their thoughts are. Yet, if one is unable to receive, they may need to place their attention on what is taking place their body.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that it is not just what is taking place in one’s conscious mind that is having an impact on their life; it is also what is going on in their unconscious mind. For instance, if one has a painful emotional experience and they are unable to process how they feel, their feelings can end up being trapped in their body.

Reality

As time passes, one can end up being disconnected from these feelings, and although they can appear to have disappeared, they will be influencing one’s reality. However, if one is unaware of what is taking place, they can end up blaming external forces.

And all the time these feelings are trapped in one’s body, they are not going to be able to experience life differently. What is taking place in one’s body is stopping them from being able to receive.

Love

One may find that it is a challenge for them to have their basic needs met, and it could be a challenge for them to keep their head above water. And along with this, one may find that they rarely, if ever, experience love from others.

They could believe that the world is a cold place and wonder if they will ever experience human warmth. And if they do experience it, it might disappear as soon as it has appears, and one might also find that it is not possible for them to accept it.

A Threat

If one is able to receive love, it might be hard for them to understand why someone would reject it. However, when one rejects love, it could be because they see it as a threat.

This is not to say that one consciously see it as a threat; as it is likely to be something that occurs at a deeper level. There is likely to have been a time in their life when it wasn’t safe for them to let love in (to receive), and while time has passed, they are still responding to life in the same way.

Familiar

How they experience life is going to cause them to suffer and to live a cold existence, but it is what is familiar, and what is familiar is what is safe to the ego mind. And not only will their body stop them from being able to receive love, their heart is also going to be closed.

The Original Wound

When one experience life in this way, it is likely to show that their younger years were less-than nurturing. During these early years, one may have been brought up by caregivers who violated their boundaries and neglected them.

As a result of this, one would have learnt that it wasn’t safe for them to let other people get close to them, and these early experiences would have been incredibly traumatic. At a deeper level, it is not that they are rejecting love; it is that they are stopping themselves from being wounded again.

Awareness

Until one processes what is within them and receives the right care, it is going to be a challenge for them to let love in. But as they are able to let go and to be affirmed by others, they will gradually be able to see that it is safe for them to open up.

This will be a time where one will be grieving their unmet childhood needs and healing trauma. The assistance of a therapist and/or a support group will be vital.