You get along perfect, in laughter and mentality and even in the things you like, but when it comes to the bedroom you’re not a match. Or I’ve also heard that sex is great but we are not compatible in any other way. Sexual compatibleness by far is just as important as everything else. So what do you do now? You’ve married your soul mate and the sex isn’t there for many reasons. He likes sex and you don’t or vice versa. He has premature issues and that bothers you. You like it in the morning and she in the evening. You like oral and he doesn’t like to do it. He likes oral and you aren’t into it. You like it on top and she doesn’t. He is not the right size and she has small parts. The list goes on and on. Where and when do you discover your sexual compatibleness? They say check out the goods before marriage; which most people do these days but why do they end up somewhere in the middle of the marriage and they aren’t sexually compatible anymore? It goes beyond age and desire. It extends far into the emotions from the past.
In the list of priorities sexual compatibility is at the bottom. I wonder why with all the casual sex going on out there; people always searching for better sex. Having great sex vs. sexual satisfaction. It is one thing to be satisfied and yet another to really take it to the next level. In all my relationships I remember one that was really great sex. So great that I will never forget and wanted to marry that person for that but in the other areas of our lives we weren’t compatible. It was great to the point of healing which opened my heart to love this person. If you don’t at least get sexual satisfaction then something for sure is wrong. And then sexual healing is a whole other topic. Great sex is unforgettable, great powerful connected orgasms become a part of you.
As we grow further into our relationship it is important to continually adjust to each other’s changes and new developments. Couples leave each other because they have lost their sexual compatibility or it was never there in the first place. Keep in mind sex is a big part of marriage and needs to be worked on until the end. Packing it in because you’re married and becoming the old lady or man is selfish thinking. Usually women are first to stop having the sex with their mate after years of being married. Either because they lose the desire or feel fat and undesirable and they live in their own self judgment thus shutting down. Well let me tell you if you want to keep your man you need to work at this. Keeping the body trim and fit is key; keeping that youthful sexy attitude is important. We all want the sex and love package but does it exist? When you first meet him/her is it a sexual attraction or do you feel love or does love grow after you’ve done it a few times or do you see the love from the get go? Well if you are female you probably do but if you’re male you work around the love because to some men love is confining.
Smart couples who find it challenging to please each other become seekers of the sexual world out there and they may find themselves in a swing club or nudist camp. This is all good and healthy. Exploring polyamourous communities is new and upcoming. But first let us find why we are this way and what we can do to become better sexual companions. There are many reasons, one of them being religious beliefs, culture, your likes/dislikes, un-skilled in sexual technique, and how your family expressed sexual love and affection.
Let‘s first begin to make a list of all the things we like and dislike sexually. Then add to the list what you find sexually attractive in a partner; what body parts turn you on etc. Do you like a partner who verbalizes? There are many secrets to good lovemaking but the biggest one by far is “foreplay”. Foreplay builds sexual energy and tease; it helps one to cultivate sexual power and supports learning about each other. Also learning tantra wisdom sacred sexuality techniques also can be very helpful in making you more sexually compatible. Having an open mind and getting free of the baggage is a big secret that sets you free sexually. To be free sexually requires the emotions to be balanced and our splits to be solid. Connecting the body, mind and orgasm as one is the secret. If you like sex, you will find the compatibleness and work it out.
