BY ANITA DEFRANCESCO- All sex is good but it can be celebrated as the truly art form that it is. But it does take intention and consciousness. Staying connected to nature aligns the internal and external part of our being. It is the nature of our existence that allows us the freedom to be who we are thus lifting the mind from control.

It is this closeness and connection to nature that elevates one to divinity. Now is a perfect time to recreate and learn how to honor the sacredness of sex and sexuality. Tantra allows us the opportunity to reconnect in our modern busy lives and bestow attention to our partner.

Yoni Massage is one of the best tantric sex practices

Practicing tantric sex can expand pleasure throughout the body and deepen your relationship. The spiritual merging of two souls is what we are really seeking; lust is that wakeup call to connect us to heart. The heart seeks to lose itself in authentic love and to delve into euphoric love with a beloved. This is tantric sex.

Tantra in itself is a masterpiece of the soul. Tantric sex practice channels the higher power of love thus letting go of attachment and obsession. When sex and spirit come together the heightened experience is a sacred sexuality.

This ancient Hindu form of sex dates back 5,000 years ago. They view sex as an expression of spirituality. Life in itself is an endless cycle of sex, living somewhere in between pulsation and cessation; an interchange of masculine and feminine energies. Tantra means to weave the physical, sexual and emotional threads as one.

Alignment can only bring about a greater expansion of the senses giving one the permission to let go and dive deeper into the well of pleasure. Tantra has been repressed for years because of its nature to empower sexuality through arousal and flirtation of the senses. It has made a comeback because people fear the everyday sex routines can eventually hinder the romance. People are getting sharper and looking for a more lasting meaningful way to love.

The Tantra path is a unique and modern way to keep your sex alive as well as the romantic intentions that sparked you in the very beginning. Tantric sex is the complete opposite of ordinary sex. I compare it to fast food vs. gourmet food. What is the difference between regular sex vs. tantric sex and where does one begin?

The Differences

  1. Regular sex is more mechanical where tantra sex involves spirit for a longer lasting fulfilling experience. It’s the creative process of prolonging the love.
  2. The stages of sex are foreplay, intercourse and then climax. Regular sex is goal oriented with tantra sex there is no direct progression and is not goal oriented.
  3. Slow sex vs. fast sex. When we slow down and give attention the sensations are refined, stuck feelings unfold, orgasms awaken and the experience has no ending.
  4. The goal of regular sex is to relieve, unburden and fulfill the self in the moment. There is too much emptying which causes depletion and an overall loss of vital energy. Tantra sex is different; it’s about cultivation and containing the sexual energy so that the moment last longer and there is increased full body pleasure and longer lasting orgasms.
  5. The peak orgasm is full of excitement and madness and then there is a loss. In tantra sex there is the valley orgasm that circulates and expands and heightens the body pleasure on many levels emotionally, physically and spiritually, thus the full body orgasm is attained.
  6. Tantra sex is a gift of unity and awareness. The creative life force is known as Shakti, the divine feminine energy which lives in both male and female. Tantra teaches to value and cultivate sexual energy as one with the entire being rather than throw it away for a moment of madness.
  7. To practice tantric sex one must increase the flow of shakti and this is done beginning with breath exercises along with intention, thus sexual energy awakens and expands one’s life force and consciousness.
  8. When polarities join forces shiva/shakti, yin/yang, negative/positive then this is the beginning of the tantric dance. The bioenergy revitalizes one another.
  9. The sacred space is where two souls come together and unionize in sacred sexuality.

Sacred Tantra Ritual is an exploration of the heart for couples who want to harness the love and invoke passion, arousal and sacredness. Opening up to the spark that was once there or intensify the spark that is already there. Throughout the ritual you will learn to appreciate your partner more fully, communicate more intimately and celebrate your love.

Sacred Ritual Practice

    1. Create Sacred Space
      Set the tone, the mood. Clear out the space where you make love, get rid of all the busy. Bring on the candles, lavish bedding, champagne, soft music, chocolates, and succulent dish of fruits.
    2. Tantric Union Ritual
      Sitting across from each other on soft pillows with legs crossed in a lotus position while wearing satin silky sensual robes. Practice eye gazing meditation. Begin to breathe in the nose and out the mouth. Stare into your partners eyes for 15 minutes. Take as long as you need to connect.
    3. Communication
      Check in with feelings and allow emotions to be there, exchange appreciative words. Take as long as you need to hear each other. One at a time talks and the other listens.
    4. Sacred Touch
      Staying fulling robed, take a moment to exchange gentle touch to the peripheral areas such as arms, face. This is to enhance and open the senses. Open up to the sense of taste and feed each other the fruits.
    5. Tantra Massage
      Begin with a soft caressing touch starting on the back. You can use powder and feathers to enhance the experience. Keeping it nonsexual just work with tantalizing your partner with gentleness.
    6. Yab-Yum
      The classical Hindu pose, where he sits in lotus and she crawls on top of his lap with legs wrapped around him. This is where you can begin to explore slow tantric kissing, and undressing each other.

  1. Celebrate Divine Sex
    Staying connected and embracing intimacy and the sensations of each moment you then can move into intercourse. Keeping in mind the slower the better, honoring and pleasuring each moment. The purpose is to celebrate your divineness and honor the God and Goddess within each other.


The ultimate goal of tantric sex is that of enlightened love. Sex can drive one toward or away from enlightenment.

The unique gift of lovemaking needs to awaken from the dark shadows and shame. When we surrender we can transform that physical appetite to ecstatic conscious divine union.